Why I Practice Positive Self-Talk for My Daughter
Positive self-talk is a thing that most people struggle with.
We are all our own worst critics, and it is so easy to be hard on ourselves. I find myself always bashing the way I look, the way I talk, the way I walk, my nervous habits, pretty much anything and everything about myself. I stare at myself in the mirror just pointing out every imperfection I have. Which I know is a super common thing for other people, too..
When I started working with kids and studying Child Development in college, I learned a thing or two about the way children take in information- and how they pick up on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And if you are a parent or have been around children, you know that they are little sponges and will just soak up everything you say.
I had always had hopes for my children being well-adjusted and confident people. Who obviously still have normal every-day struggles, but I never wanted them to doubt that they were so loved and so worthy. So after finding out I was pregnant with Izzy, I knew that I wanted to raise her to be the best person she could be.
I thought about how I needed to talk positively about myself so my children will be proud of their bodies and personalities. I want them to be happy to be who they are, and to love the skin they are in.
I vowed to stop talking so negatively about myself during my pregnancy, so that way I would be in the habit of talking positively when my daughter was born. That way she would never hear me bash myself. And that went according to plan, right?
Nope! A big, fat, N O P E. I totally failed.
Pregnancy causes so many changes to your body that I had a hard time speaking well of myself. I dealt with the normal changes from my growing belly, to the dark line down my belly, to the inability to do so many things. I couldn’t even put on my darn shoes without breaking a sweat.
And postpartum? Just when I thought the changes were done… Boy, was I wrong! My hair was falling out, my boobs were saggy and deflated from breastfeeding when they weren’t sore and engorged from being full of milk. My belly never went “back to normal”. I was tired from taking care of a baby (and still tired now from caring for a toddler).
it wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I realized that I was still bashing on myself now that I was a parent. And now, I was even harder on myself than ever.
I am going to be two years postpartum in June (and I stopped breastfeeding about six months ago). And I realized that I NEED TO GIVE MYSELF A BREAK!
I carried a freakin’ human inside my body. And I nurtured that human with my body for 14 freakin’ months. And this is the thanks I give myself?
I realized how ridiculous it is that we (as moms… yes I am including you, too) are so hard on ourselves when our bodies did such miraculous things. And not just for moms, this applies to anybody and everybody. You need to love yourself because you only have this one life and this one body. (so cheesy, I know).
And I realize that my negative self-talk is not only hurting myself, but it hurts my daughter. And I refuse to let this cycle continue on to her. I need her to know that she is so intelligent, independent, intuitive, nurturing, beautiful, and just perfectly herself. So the only way I can do that is by talking positively to her, but also to myself.
Thankfully, I have been doing pretty well with not putting myself down for the way I act or speak lately. And I attribute that to the fact that I am now blogging (and on YouTube), so I have learned to love who I am as a person. Now, for loving my body? That’s a little harder. But I am working on it.
From now on I am going to put more of an effort into loving the skin I am in for my daughter, and for me. I’m going to rock that dress even if I feel like it hugs me in all the wrong places. I am going to wear that bikini even though I am worried what others will think of my rolls and stretch marks.
And I hope this helped some mom or woman, or even man out there who is struggling with loving themselves. I hope this gives you the wake up call that you need so you can start practicing positive self-talk for yourself and those around you. And I hope this gives you the reminder that you are loved, worthy, and perfectly yourself. And that you need to embrace who you are.