the Pressure to be Perfect

Disclaimer: I am going to be using the term “perfect” very loosely in this post. I don’t actually think anyone can be perfect. I use the term perfect in this post as something to strive towards, something that is admirable or just something a lot of people want!

It is so easy to go on social media and see everyone’s “perfect” lives and want to be perfect.

It’s always the people who post the most amazing photos who write the long posts about how life isn’t perfect… but to me they always seem like the ones who have it all.

They have the loving family, the blog that people actually read (shout-out to you if you are reading this!), they have time to keep their house pristine all while being an amazing mother, being super crafty and somehow keeping up with their daily workouts.

None of this is bad, of course. It is so great for them! I wish I had enough energy or time in the day to do these things. I go to bed thinking to myself, “Tomorrow will be different. You’re going to wake up at 5, do your workout, make an amazing breakfast, eat healthy all day, keep up with social media during the day and clean the house.” And that does happen on occasion but definitely not every day… or every other day…

I am so mean to myself when I see a mom posting a picture of their kid doing something super fun in the cutest outfit - while Izzy and I have spent the entire day in our jammies.

I get so angry with myself when I am looking for a picture to post on my social media and I can’t seem to be able to edit as well as those super talented bloggers.

Today I woke up with the whole “I’m gonna wake up at 5…” spiel in mind and guess what?… I woke up at 5:30, rested for an hour, then finally threw on mascara and some normal clothes and started breakfast. I snacked on a donut after eating a healthy breakfast. Took the girls to the park when we were supposed to go to the zoo.

And now I sit. The day half over, I’m drinking my coffee, haven’t kept up with social media at all, and just wondering if I am writing this for just myself.

I kick myself when I can’t keep up with the housework, when I can’t keep my promises of what I want to do for the day, when I can’t keep up with my blog posting.

And I do this because my irrational thoughts tell me that if I don’t keep up with the housework I am not a good stay-at-home mom. If I don’t keep my promises with what I want to do today I am not a good mom and I am flakey. If I don’t post on my blog I am going to seem inconsistent.

I think so often we are our own worst critic, but also we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves based on what we view of other people.

I view other people’s successes and if my achievements don’t align with theirs then I feel discouraged. - But nobody puts this on me. I am the one who is taking to heart somebody else’s achievements in their life.

In reality, everyone has their own path. Everyone will live the life they are supposed to and reach the goals they are supposed to. We can’t look at someone who has “achieved” more and think they are more successful because first, you don’t know what is going on in their life, and second, you can have the same success - just in a different way!

Even though I don’t have 100k followers like other mommy bloggers, I am still successful because I am doing what I love. I am still reaching someone and maybe they needed to hear that message the day they read my post. And that is all that matters.

Even though I didn’t wake up and follow my routine that I wanted, I am still a good stay-at-home mom because I love my daughter to bits and I am doing the best I can.

I think it’s time that we all stop and reflect on where we are in our lives. We need to accept that it’s okay if our successes are different from someone else’s and that it isn’t society’s fault when we feel pressured to be perfect.